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They Call Me Lixin Dixon, From the Big Dixon Clan. . . [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Hey, look at this asshole. [Jan. 17th, 2008|11:21 pm]
http://mistertenebrae.blogspot.com/
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And this shall be the last [Dec. 10th, 2007|11:12 pm]
[music |Rodrigo y Gabriela - Tamacun]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR-qy0fp65I


LJ's gotten boring. The effort's not there anymore, so I'm finished.
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Everyone should see this movie. [Nov. 1st, 2007|10:56 pm]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du5tnsNq7sM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6fFvMoGEDQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tUxKQ8CmSI
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Time to Shred... [Oct. 22nd, 2007|11:26 pm]
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fNoZg9kl-zE
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ttaqVd0rOjA
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AkAx-j9whiA
http://youtube.com/watch?v=EEwIRZ9pLCM
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This shit is catchy....*sigh* [Oct. 12th, 2007|08:46 am]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG2t8jHHH_I
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Nothing Witty Needs to Be Said [Jul. 13th, 2007|04:58 am]
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Alright, alright, who's up for some Afro-homoeroticism? [May. 12th, 2007|02:05 am]
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(no subject) [Apr. 29th, 2007|02:50 am]
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Yes, It's Three Months Away, But Happy Fathers' Day! [Mar. 14th, 2007|11:31 pm]
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(no subject) [Feb. 17th, 2007|01:14 am]
It is posts like these that make me happy that the SomethingAwful forums are open for all to see.

FORCEFUL AND MUSICAL
Management liked to run a skeleton crew, which meant one employee per store.
The front retail space had it's down time, but there was almost always a handful of people in the arcade. Any bathroom trips had to be fast.

It was roughly four hours into my shift, and I had managed to drain two 1-liter water bottles. The front was empty and I could hear nothing but satisfied moaning coming from the back. All was well.
I stepped into the bathroom, locked the door behind me and started to pee.
I heard footsteps approach the door and the knob began to turn wildly.
"Just a second."
The turning stopped and I finished up. I opened the door to leave, (it opened inward) and there stood a forty-ish dark haired man in the door frame.
He was standing with his weight on one leg, with the other crossed behind. His arms were wrapped around the door frame in the ultimate suave pose. He was attractive in a dark and brooding way.
I smiled and said, "It's all yours."
I stepped forward to leave, but he wouldn't move. He positioned his face into my line of sight and raised an eyebrow. It could have been a painfully uncomfortable moment, but nothing about him seemed threatening.
If this were a rooftop diner in Paris, he would have been smoking sensually and dissecting the finer points of great cinema.
Alas, he had only this to offer:
"I like the sound of your piss."
I burst out laughing and nudged him out of the way.
"You don't have to laugh."
"What do you even say to that?"
I must have been grinning warmly because he laughed too.
"So you're into golden showers?" I asked.
"No. It was just hot. Very forceful and.....musical."
"Well that's a first."
I'll listen for the symphony next time!
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What A Fucking Hack! [Jan. 11th, 2007|11:55 am]
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(no subject) [Dec. 25th, 2006|04:27 am]
[music |Melt Banana- Picnic in a Panic]

Merry Christmas, you. . .
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Who Remembers This Shit? [Dec. 18th, 2006|01:47 am]


Holy shit this show was hilarious.
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I'm posting this because I hate you all. [Dec. 6th, 2006|10:05 am]
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The many faces of me. [Nov. 12th, 2006|03:24 am]
www.glob.com.au/byron/collections/byronjones/

Not made by me.


I found this enjoyable.

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Thanks to you tube, my musical tastes are changing. . . [Oct. 29th, 2006|06:12 am]
Too bad it won't be around for much longer.



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(no subject) [Oct. 17th, 2006|03:16 am]


There is a surprise around the 5 min mark. Pause it there.



 This is gold.
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The way nick cage should always be. . . [Oct. 9th, 2006|06:48 am]






There is more at japander.com
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Spreading the fucking virus [Oct. 1st, 2006|01:43 am]
I got SOAP I got a TOWEL I'm gonna wash my BOOTIE for a WHILE.

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I've been searching. . . [Aug. 20th, 2006|05:51 pm]
wondering who made this song. . .the singer makes the search more than worth while.

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We'll Make Lover Of You [Aug. 19th, 2006|02:07 am]
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Boner Stew, Netflix Queue [Aug. 7th, 2006|11:28 pm]
[mood | booby]
[music |Bear vs. Shark - Bloodgiver]

I just realized how fucking weird the spelling of "queue" is... too many u's and "e". Damn those fucking French.

So I figured I waste some time and post my Netflix shit on here, and take some suggestions. Horror and film noir are the biggest attractions. . .

I'm sure I'll catch some shit about some of the choices. That's right, Pirates of the Carribean is on there. . .

Re-Animator
The Sixth Sense
The Hills Have Eyes (2005)
Hostel
Zombie
Stacy
Funny Games
Waiting...
8MM
Toolbox Murders
The Big Lebowski
The Shadow
Shocker
The Devil's Rejects
The Machinist
Suspect Zero
The Usual Suspects
Memento
Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
Batman Beyond: The Movie
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman
The Postman Always Rings Twice
Body Heat
The Last Seduction
The Grifters
Hellboy
Spawn 2
Spawn 3: The Ultimate Battle
Caligula
Richard III
Pirates of the Caribbean
The Warriors
Bubba Ho-Tep
Scotland, PA
The Exorcist: Restored Version
What Have You Done to Solange?
The Strange Vice of Mrs. Ward
Your Vice Is a Locked Room
Cronos
Alucarda
Black Christmas
Laura
Opera
A Tale of Two Sisters
Infection
Dark Tales of Japan
Tenebre
Videodrome
Panic in the Streets
Warlock
Class of Nuke 'Em High
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed
Chaos



There are a shitload more that I have not gotten around to adding to the list, probably near 15 or 20 films.
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I have to get this one [Jul. 31st, 2006|06:25 am]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQeTjWKHycQ

I finally can create my own character and my own fatality. Fuckin pwnage right there. . .
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I like it when it looks like a chimp's mouth turned sideways. [Jul. 22nd, 2006|05:58 am]
Something about this clip is wrong. . .visually and aurally.

I know what the hell is going on in this, but it's a bit disturbing.

http://www.totallycrap.com/media/japanesepencilsareyummie/






And it makes me wanna go to Japan that much more.
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From the greatest show I never watch [Jul. 18th, 2006|04:52 am]
If it were on another channel, I'd religiously watch this show. . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFZf6OHoNuA
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OPTIMUS MOTHAFUCKIN' PRIME! [Jul. 11th, 2006|06:12 am]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6yd55-V8PE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na79jwGJCEk

I have to say that it has it's moments, but not as fantastic. . .
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Stolen Witticisms [Jul. 7th, 2006|01:54 am]
[mood | bouncy]
[music |The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get]

Why do people look at me funny when I tell them I like ska?

    Because you’re wearing a stupid fucking checkered fedora and suspenders and you listen to
    the worst music ever in history.

Am I justified in hitting a person in the face only because they like ska music?


    Violence is never justified. But yes.
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The fatties, they must die. . . [Jul. 1st, 2006|03:10 am]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eFFB659ZY8
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Son of Prince [Jun. 11th, 2006|04:16 am]
[mood | sleepy]
[music |Sing it Shitface!]

Sound effects, Lyrical asshole, taking shitty Mc tongues to the frozen flagpole
I farted family functions, landing punches in the face of life
I paid the grand three hundred for my beat machine, my body
I keep it clean, by eating vegetables, while you claim indestructible
I made 'em feel uncomfortable by talking about my hemroids
And now my parakeet's unemployed, I enjoyed watching old men
put pens oil all inside the engines,while eating cookies kept in tin foil
I been spoiled, like an underwear that's been soiled by my opponents
When I assemble my microphone kit, most kids are mere domeless
I wonder what they folks did to make 'em think they flow swift with broken focus
Vocals are sung, while my guitar is strung, and inplugged to make the hip hop
Pure it's cents up, sure it's ten bucks to come and see me at a show
But when I stage dive into jello you won't care about the dough
But if you still think my shit is wack, you'll get you're money back
And then you leave the show, running into two men with funny hats
They'll beat the fuck out of you and take your wallet out of your back pocket
After that you swell up in the high sockets, then I'll finish my show and go to
The parking lot to meet the two men, who then put your loot in my pocket
I try jocking myself but that didn't work, after I realised that God was
watching with a hidden smirk,I shit a turd that stunk the house for three weekends
Instead of RnB bitches, I do my hooks with Japanese kids...
So Sing it Shitface
Ooh, I love farting in the bathtub, at clubs, at home
On the road, in your face unload, in your eyeball
Fart while walking on the sidewalk, after nightfall
To the point you spray Lysol, despite all the things
That the people might say, I grab my genitals and tell'em have a nice day
The right way, to grab a mic is constantly exhibited
If I mean, then the MC knows he's unlimited, it's intimate
like water splashing on the coast lines
where I go to town meetings
And on the bulletin board I post rhymes, most times
don't give a fuck about what you telling me
I get excited and crash your third grade spelling bee
and just as a girl named Bethany is about to win my spelling cheese
I interrupt the train of thought by yelling freeze
And when she sees that I'm nothing but a prankster
she tells the teacher, but I proceed to go
And yank her for her title, of third grade vocabulary champion
she starts to cry, I say : that's what you get for tampering
with the wordsmith, with the verb gift
The principal got nervous, when I ran into his office shirtless
what's the purpose of terrorising elementary schools?
I don't know, but I penetrate your brain with entry tools
Narratives from the battle tongue
my record collection consists of twenty-two copies of Aqualung
half a lung is what I need to rock a venue
I then do some Herculean shit on the wheels to cold end you
got the versatility of ten dudes, next stop my little shitface friend
Serves a chorus up from the menu
So Sing it scumbag. . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NoSmtW4xY8&search=
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This is some hot shit. . . [Jun. 10th, 2006|12:58 am]
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1694381/

I could only imagine what else those fingers can do. . .
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You put the "fag" back into "You're a fuckin' fag!" [May. 22nd, 2006|12:09 am]
I saw this and was moved.

http://www.whiteyfilms.com/panther.html

It's one of those WTF moments.
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What Kind of Beer Do You Like? [May. 14th, 2006|04:59 pm]
[Current Location |Slumberton]
[mood | apathetic]

Heiniken.


Heiniken? Fuck that shit!




Pabst Blue Ribbon!
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God I Miss This Cartoon. . . [May. 5th, 2006|02:00 am]
One of the greatest cartoons ever.

http://www.youtube.com/v/-vgZgLBIfbQ
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Just Making An Entry Cause I Am Tired Of Looking At the One Before It. . . [May. 2nd, 2006|10:47 pm]
[Current Location |I miss the rains down in Africa]
[mood | Bonerific]
[music |Cursive - The Butcher]

Happiness leads to boredom

When you are happy, you are content.
When you are content, you just settle for the same.
After a while settling for the same gets just boring.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'm just bored and stupid.


I was sitting on the bus today and saw this dog sticking its head out of an SUV waiting at a stop sign.
I thought to myself and asked how funny it would be if I just stuck my hand out of the window and slap the dog in its face as the bus pulled off. Of course I did it, and it was the funniest thing I did in a long time. Don't know why, but the sound of the yelp after the slap and the drool on my hand triggered something. . .

I'm not cut out for the borderline mindless rants that Kyle is an expert, no, a master of. Maybe I am. Maybe I am just an alcohol binge away. Sometimes I just stand in the mirror and repeat my name over and over and stare in amazement that I am a real person. So I think. I think therefore, I am. How can I take advice from a guy who believes in little demons playing tricks on him? Kinda dampens his credentials. But he's French, so some credentials have been lost from the get go. The get go. That damn Bon Jovi song about the cowboy is playing in my head right now, I dunno it just popped in there and I can't shake it out. Maybe that Frenchman is right about the demons playing their tricks. So yeah, I should be doing homework right now, but that's not gonna happen. Motivation's shot. I'd rather wait until I have the finals pointing a gun to my head before I start picking things up. It's not as much fun to pick up the pieces. Dammnit, that Nine Inch Nails song is in my head right now. The one with the video that had the Asian chick and that kick ass drum solo in the middle. I think a Blood Brothers song samples it. This stream of conscious writing is making me think that I have some sort of mental problem. No wonder why Virginia Woolf drowned herself in the Thames, lololol.

Nope, not cut out for this nonsensicalness.

Not at all.

Fuck Yeah, I wanna live forever baby. . .
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I Done Fucked Up and Now We're Friends. [Apr. 11th, 2006|11:40 pm]
It's time to update. Time to get real. Time to get emo. Time to dance. . .


Last night I went to see V for Vendetta. Not with the original group of partners. There was nothing Spiffy about this. I decided to go with someone new. I have to say that it was the first time I actually got a chick to go to the movies with me. . .by herself. Some of the guys in the band may know who she is, Kyle especially. Then again maybe not. Her name is Lauren, and I had a class with her last quarter, and we have been keeping with each other since the quarter ended a couple months ago.

It was at Sox Fest where I first noticed her, or she noticed me, I was actually standing in the corner in the room where old Sox paraphenalia was being sold for charity. I was the loss prevention specialist, and the only thing I was trying to prevent was falling asleep standing up. But there was the moment where our eyes locked, and everything seemed to move slowly and silent, and me stuttering and mumbling more than usual when talking to her. I first thought she looked like my old gym teacher Ms. Walters (I still think she does).So anyways, from that point on we got to know each other in class, with unrelenting eyeballing matches going on during that time as well. We had a connection.

On the last day of the quarter, I got her information so that we could keep in contact. Of course, this was done in bumbling and nervous manner (sorry to disappoint those who thought I was smooth and cool with the ladies). And we agreed that we would hang out sometime. I, for one, did not know whether this hanging out would be as friends or something more. From what I know, she is single, so the hanging out maybe something more. And if this was the case, my inexperience in dating would be exposed. I had no idea what I would do with her when we went out. Luckily, there was V for Vendetta.

So long story short, the excursion, or date, or whatever happened last night will be explained through a scenario, or metaphor of sorts.

It was like my first show with Missing Score/Spectral Fire. Before then, the only time I played guitar was when I was around my friends, and I felt comfortable, and thus was able to show that had some talent in playing. But at the first show, which I think was Battle of the Bands at IIT, I stunk. I was nervous, and sick, and the light was all in my face...and I totally bombed, very noticeably. All I did was keep my head down and wish that it all end soon. Playing in front of an audience of strangers is totally different from playing among friends. The same went for what happened last night, as friends I could easily hang with Lauren, but as something else, hopefully something beyond that, I had nothing. I didn't have it. Was it because of the inexperience? I think so. I know so. The moments of awkward silence were worse than any I have ever felt. Which is a shame because I really like her. The night ended when I walked her to the Grand subway stop, and she gave me a friendly hug. Ouch.

I haven't spoken to her since then. I'm kinda hesitant in doing so. Don't know why, but I am. I should.

The second show I had with Missing Score, I did better. I felt I did better, mainly because the second time had me coming with something to prove, and following shows my confidence gained. I can only hope that that this situation with Lauren have the same outcome.

bonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerbonerboner
Haute Secks. . .


EDIT:

We talked, and last night was "friendly"

Absolutely beautiful.
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From the makers of Lixin Wang. . . [Jan. 19th, 2006|12:33 am]
In this past Monday's Chicago Sun-Times:

Name change should stop the snickers

January 16, 2006

BY STEVE PATTERSON Staff Reporter

Fuk King Kwok was waiting for his driver's license to be printed when his name was called and a chuckling Illinois secretary of state employee offered some advice.

"She [said] this is a dangerous name," the Chinese immigrant recalled. "She [said] the name translated is not so good, maybe I should change [it]. The word I hear is not so good."

Not so good, indeed.

That clerk, like so many other Americans who have said his name since he came to Chicago in 1999, didn't pronounce his first name the proper way -- "fook."

Instead, she and the others would pronounce his name with an "uh" sound instead of the "oo" -- in other words, like the granddaddy of all swear words.

"And my middle name is terrible, too," he admitted. "That combination becomes very terrible."

Last month in Cook County Circuit Court -- three years after that clerk offered the advice -- Fuk King Kwok changed his name.

He's now Andy Kwok.

"Before I came to United States, no problems," he said, before nervously laughing. "But in translation to English, it sounds like . . . the word . . . you know ... sometimes language is not so convenient and sometimes I'm embarrassed, you know?"

Best part about U.S. Privacy?

The process of legally changing your name is simple enough. Kwok paid the $328 and filled out the one-page form himself.

A judge's signature made it official and ensured the only time Kwok will hear that word is if he's near someone foul-mouthed.

DePaul University language professor Yingcai Xu said problems like Kwok's aren't common -- and even he gave a slight laugh after writing Kwok's name.

"It could very likely cause a problem," he said, adding it's a Cantonese name that "could mean 20 or 30" things in that language -- none of them vulgar.

"This is a very special case," he said, "because there are not many names, even pronounced wrong, that would lead to any bad sense."

Kwok said that in China, his name translates to "a very good meaning" and nothing at all like that embarrassing pronunciation.

He said he's always liked the name Andy -- "Andrew" even better -- and while living in Hong Kong, sometimes went by it.

The 38-year-old mechanical engineer said he came to the United States for work reasons and "to try to experience different culture."

Despite the pronunciation trouble with his name, he said he likes America, especially Chicago, but most of all, he likes his privacy.

Aware of the potential for "jokes on me," he initially declined an interview request, but remained adamant about declining a photo.

"I'm not public at all," he said.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-namechange16.html
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Lixin Dixon's PT Stories Part IV: Gobbledygook: A Word I Never Use (The Green Line Fappist) [Jan. 14th, 2006|01:22 am]
Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happen to me. . .


No. Strike that.


Dear Dr. Schnieder,

I never thought this would happen to me. Maybe this would happen to those sterile suburban white folk whose only image of the inner city is the one that they see on the evening news. So yesterday I hopped on the train on my way to school. As I sat down, I began to notice two people sitting in that side of the car, a man and a woman, staring at me. Paranoid that I am, I tend to take serious notice of this. Also, I have my headphones on at full blast and would not hear a thing they were trying to tell me something. Maybe the music was too loud. Maybe I just sat in some shit in the seat, which is not impossible to believe when anyone can do anything in or on the seats.

So as I look at the seat to see if I actually did sit in something. It wasn't wet and there wasn't anything on it. So what the fuck? Why the hell they were looking at me, especially this dude sitting across from me.

I mind my business for a while, but it kept bothering me that this guy kept looking in my direction. It's the kind of stuff I do when I stare at women. Maybe that's why I'm still single...well anyways, I get all paranoid when people do that sort of thing and I have this habit of looking to see if someone is behind me, maybe that person is the object of attention. Of course not, I was sitting in the last seat at the end of the car.

So I'm like, what the fuck is this muthafucker's problem?

The guy got up shortly afterwards and stood by the doors. And the fuck kept staring. It was then I noticed that he had his coat draped over his shoulder while he was facing my direction. There was some serious fiddling around behind that coat. This instance lead me to a conclusion: I was thinking that this guy was gonna pull some "Godfather" type shit and shoot me through the coat maybe because I looked like the nigga who stole his bike or something. He then sat down. This time in a seat closer to me.

I was like, oh shit this muthafucker's gonna shoot me. . .

I got out of my seat and stood by the door. Luckily I was near my stop. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that the dude was still looking at me, with that coat still draped across his legs and shoulder. It was then I saw that he had on some grey sweatpants. Grey sweatpants that were halfway down his thigh. It was a split second glance, but I was pretty sure I was seeing some brown skin that wasn't normally seen that place, time, and gender.

Maybe his hands were cold. It was chilly outside. I have my room in the coldest part of my house. Sometimes I put my hands down my pants to warm them. There's a lot of stuff down there, so it's a dandy natural heat source.

However, having your pants 1/3 down your legs would defeat the purpose of using of central heating through your junk to warm your hands. And I didn't think that his balls had such an itch that required a four-fingered scratch that lasted more than a couple minutes. The 1/3 off pants, constant feverish fiddling, the glassy eyed stares; all of these clues added up: the guy was fapping away on the train.

I moved to the other side of the car, not knowing whether to be amused, disgusted, angry, or flattered (my sexiness transcends race, gender, and species). It all seemed surreal. Of course the fappist was still eyeing me from afar. What really got me was the woman who sat across from was acting like nothing was even happening. I got off the train and sighed, saying to myself. . .


It happens.
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Anybody See This? [Jan. 12th, 2006|01:34 am]
It doesn't take much to make me laugh til I cry.

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/08/house.majorityleader/
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Tis the season to be Jolly. . . [Dec. 13th, 2005|11:55 am]
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-laaa. . .


There's nothing sexier than hobos. . .(Be warned, boner poison lies within this link)
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Things to do when you're too lazy to masturbate [Dec. 7th, 2005|12:46 am]
"You prefer only females for sex partners. You tend to be submissive. This will impact the interpretation of your various sexual interests. Clothing is an important part of your sexual fantasies. Materials like latex, vinyl, and leather probably excite you a great deal. Possibly left over from your childhood experiences is your interest in spanking. You enjoy the feeling of being slapped, and the burning feeling afterwards. Spanking is not child's play to you. It holds a deep place in your fantasies. You become aroused when you reveal information about yourself, or perform a sex act in a public or semi-public setting. Your mouth is a sacred area that houses a variety of sensations and desires for you. You enjoy having things in your mouth, and you enjoy teasing your tongue with a variety of different stimulation. You secretly have a desire to have a sexual encounter with someone you don't know, and with whom you don't consent to have sex. The concept of unwilling partners turns you on. What else can be said? You enjoy getting yourself off. Don't we all? "

Dominant (0 out of 5)
Submissive (4 out of 5)
Voyeurism (3 out of 6)
Clothing (3 out of 5)
Feet (1 out of 4)
Spanking (4 out of 5)
Bondage (1 out of 3)
Humiliation (4 out of 7)
Sensation (2 out of 8)
Anal (0 out of 4)
Exhibitionism (4 out of 5)
Sleep (3 out of 7)
Medical (0 out of 7)
Training (0 out of 4)
Food (2 out of 4)
Bodyfluids (1 out of 7)
Roleplaying (0 out of 6)
Oral (4 out of 5)
Objects (0 out of 5)
Strangers (1 out of 4)
Rape (3 out of 4)
Groups (1 out of 3)
Gagging (2 out of 4)
Watersports (0 out of 5)
Crushing (2 out of 5)
Bestiality (0 out of 3)
Fisting (0 out of 5)
Finger sucking (0 out of 4)
Toe sucking (0 out of 3)
Masturbation (2 out of 3)
Asphyxiation (1 out of 4)


That's right kiddies, I'm a potential rapist. . .

http://www.deviantsdelight.com/fquiz/fetishquiz.html
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